The Nanny

I am in a constant neighborhood battle with this nanny. An older lady I wonder how she came upon this job. One day I informed Lil’ Dad I won’t trust the nanny with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. At first we laughed but the more I thought about it the more I realized that was harsh. I mean implying someone was so lacking in basic care skills that they won’t be able to care for an inanimate object.

Like if it was a peanut butter and grape jelly on store brought white bread, okay maybe I’d let her watch it. This type of sandwich has no meaning to me, just your run of the mill sandwich. What if it was the same sandwich with the crust cut off, cut into neat triangles, ‘d have to think about it.

What about a peanut butter sandwich on whole wheat bread, with lil’ oats on the crust, and my world famous peach jelly from my fab peach tree?

No frickin’ way!

So basically I won’t trust her with a “Gourmet” peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

My lack of trust in this woman has caused tension in my house. Lil’ Boy asks to play at this nanny run house and my answer is always “HELLS TO THE NO.” The fact that I don’t trust her with my most specialist PB&J confection means that I can’t trust her with one of my most precious creations.

And for the record Lil’ Boy taste even better then the bestest sandwich ever. NOM NOM NOM!

Anyhoo the relationship between me and this nanny got worse the other day when I spotted the one year old in her care running in the road with no supervision. The nanny was in the house, one-year-old outside. I ran and got the lil’ girl when the nanny finally came outside I was steamin’ mad. This isn’t the first time we’ve been in this situation, protecting kids in her care from dangers in the street, but I was sure as hell goin’ make it the last. In a fit of rage I stated to the nanny “This happens again, I am calling Family Services.” Dude and I will, I swears to God.

I have informed one of the parents that their nanny is a giant neglectful turd- but I am not sure they agree with my opinion.

When I see this nanny-lady I wanna drop-kick her ass, Jackie Chan style- cause I am sorry Chuck Norris sucks tit.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *