Mi famiglia

Tacy is in the bathroom with the door ajar. I peek in and see pebbles on the floor. She follows my gaze.

T (outraged): I don’t know how those got there! Someone put rocks in my pants!


I’ve picked up the girls from school, and Tacy is telling me about the plans she has made with a friend.

T: We’re going to fly up to heaven!

J (skeptical): Oh really?

T: Yes, we’re going to see God. And Las Vegas.


Again, Tacy is in the bathroom with the door ajar.

T: Can somebody tell me why I did this?

J (slightly alarmed): Did WHAT?

T: Uhhhhhh…nothing.

(I still have no idea what she did.)


The girls and I are in the car. I’ve pulled alongside the pump at a gas station, ready to fill up. My bag is not on the seat beside me.

J: Dammit! I left my bag at home! Where is my BRAIN?!

T (matter-of-factly): Your brain is in your body.


Kyle is playing in the basement with the girls. CJ is howling.

I hear shuffling noises on the stairs. The basement door slowly opens, and CJ emerges.

She toddles over to me and grabs my hand. She leads me to the cabinet filled with sippies, bowls, and two lone bottles. She opens the cabinet, grabs a bottle and thrusts it into my hand. Then she body-slams the refrigerator, as if I didn’t know what I was supposed to do next.

I fill the bottle with milk (even though I know she took a full sippie down to the basement). She toddles right back over to the basement door and looks up at me expectantly.

I open the door and call down, “Mousie’s ready for you again!”

Kyle appears. “Huh?” He spies the bottle she’s clutching. “She has milk DOWN HERE!”

I snort. “Yes. She wanted a bottle instead.”

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