What not to write

Toward the end of “The Catcher in the Rye”, Holden goes to spend the night with a former teacher of his (Mr. Antolini), and they talk about Holden’s troubles at Pencey – the school from which he was just expelled. Specifically, Holden cites a class he took in “Oral Expression” in which the students were instructed to give speeches…Read More

That’s what friends are for

I met Stacey in the summer of 2002 on Babycenter. She posted on the Working Moms message board as well as the Atheist/Agnostic board. Not only are her posts pants-wettingly funny – her comments on children’s television programs are legendary – but she is also articulate, intelligent, and extremely well-informed. When my PIMs took our…Read More

Sweet Tasty Freedom

Many people bemoan the lack of personal freedom after having kids. These people usually don’t have kids. These people also enjoy things like pooping without an audience. But see, having kids made me free to poop with an audience. Granted, that event is an invite-only soiree that can be attended only by people (and animals)…Read More

Staph meeting

Is it Sunday night ALREADY? This weekend was a staph-infected blur. I’m pretty sure it was staph. As in Staphylococcus aureus. As in “oh my god I think I’m going to DIE” repeated ad nauseum (quite literally) for a good twelve hours. I had a cheesesteak for lunch Friday. Half a cheesesteak. The other half…Read More

‘Rest’ room

Having spent as much time in various facilities as I have lately, several questions have come to mind. I’d like to get some input. ————— Why would you install polished faux-marble tiles on a bathroom floor? Large ones – maybe 12″x12″ – with a reflective surface? And overhead lighting? Do you see where I’m going…Read More

Enjoy the illusion

My husband can do magic. Sleight of hand card tricks are his specialty. The night we met, he did card tricks for me. He had his patter down pat, and I giggled like a teenager at his quips and was amazed by his flawless execution of the tricks. We’re both critical thinkers. We seek explanations…Read More